Sometimes, I don’t feel ready to write about something. Maybe I don’t have the time on a particularly busy Sunday to give a topic I’ve been stewing on the attention it deserves.
Tonight is one of those times. My running list of ideas isn’t giving me anything that feels full of energy and I don’t have the time to devote to writing, editing, and creating a comprehensive, beautiful piece.
On nights like these, I return to Natalie Goldberg’s prompt:
“why do you write?”
She says that it doesn’t matter why you write, but that you do, and that each time you answer this prompt your answer will change - and that that’s okay.
Here’s another time I did a “Why I Write" Piece - circa 2021
So here it goes.
I write because I’m perceived as quiet
Putting my feelings on a page gave them a voice that I never could
I write to feel heard by someone, even if it’s only my pen and my paperI write to make sense of the world
I write because it’s meditative
I write to evoke emotions in other people
I write to create worlds I can escape into where no one can find me againI write to bring comfort to people when they’re suffering
words can be much more beautiful than the rawness of a human-to-human moment
and vice versaI write to filter how I feel
I’m afraid the world might not like unfiltered me
that it would anger people I love if I told the whole truth
I write to peel back the layers of my heart
to be less afraid of telling my stories
I write to tell my stories before they eat me from the inside outI write to hold space for the pain of this world
I write for the past beings that didn’t know how to write
I write for the future beings so they can know and understand what life was like for meI write so my children and grandchildren can have insight into why I acted the way I did and perhaps heal any harm I may accidentally cause
I write to better understand myself
I write because why not
I write because it’s how I process what happens
I write because I love to read
I write to create community with other people to reach others with my wordsI write to inspire
I write because most of what I write is not good
and I want to discover what is worth reading
what lies waiting to be uncoveredI write because I’ve been hurt
by people I never thought could hurt me
and I don’t know how to make that make senseI write to reason out the world from other people’s eyes
I write to know myself
I write to let go of everything I think I know
I write because there is no other optionI write because I want the world to know what it’s like to get blown down the street by a Nor’easterto be 19 and think you’re in love or 20 or 21 or 22
I write because I want people to understand what it’s like to watch the violence of shocking someone back to life again
and again
and again
or what it’s like to watch someone die
too soonI write to tell the world how unfair it is
as if the world cares about life
and it’s unfairnessI write to marvel at being alive at all
I write to be in gratitude
I write to keep the stories alive
to rememberTo remember what happened
I write to remember moments I’ve blocked out of my memory like bad dreams
I write as a testament to my strength and compassion
I write to look back and say look at me
look how far I’ve come
I did thatI write to give other people a voice
I write to give myself a voice
I write to make other people feel seen in their painI write because I am radically hopeful that a small group of people committed to using their gifts to change the world
can do itI write because I will not be silenced
I write because love will not be silencedI write because I love this world
I love you
All of this and more.