Hi, guys! It’s Friday, June 2nd. I am about to shut my laptop for 2 glorious weeks and 2 even more glorious days. When you read this, I will be in Germany, before trekking around Europe- mostly northern Italy- for a while before meeting up with my love to spend a few glorious days in a secret place. Tales to follow.
I debated bringing you with me, because tax deductions. And it would be fun to be that traveling writer. Alas, I need a true break. My neck has started to ache in the way that only a writer’s neck does- a writer who doesn’t have a standup desk or a desk to match her height. So I’ll be gone for 2 whole weeks from y’all, and that’s probably weirder for me than it is for you. It’s needed, though, and I hope to come back more inspired.
Speaking of inspiration, I’m leaving you with 2 poems. These have sat as drafts for long enough. ( I feel like I published them somewhere, once, but hopefully not here). I hope you enjoy them.
See you soon!
xx
Camille
This One’s Called Home
Blue Ridge Parkway, NC
Towering trees rustle in the wind, singing, welcome home daughter
we’ve been waiting for you
the early morning sun beckons me into the light
reaching to dapple my skin with more and more freckles
the older I get the more I look like the ancestors that call for me on the wind
whistling past my ears on a stormy summer afternoon
they all had freckles too
twinkling at me from the canopy of stars nestled in their rightful place in the mountains
The earth calls out to my bones
You came from this land, it tells me
and to this land, you will return
the ocean crashes at my feet
the waves on the shore of my homeland washing away the dust of age
as I revel in my own soul’s joy at experiencing infinity
heat shimmering above the pavement on days too hot to bear reflects
every day I have ever lived back to me like a rainbow arcing above a waterfall
time moves slowly here
like the honey my dad used to harvest from beehives
his voice echoes down the stairs
the same voice that tells stories so hysterical that tears are borne of irrational laughter
who has a monkey named Sunshine?
if time is honey then each drop contains memories of my best friend and me eating chocolate chips and marshmallows and watching NCIS
we were 9
going to church on Sundays as long as we were out by 12
God, literally God forbid anyone else beat us to lunch
family reunions too busy for my quiet soul
I could never get enough
the slow mornings I spend at my parent's kitchen table
watching the decaying swing set in the backyard sink further into the ground
as the tire swing fights an epic battle with an ancient tree
The only true home I have ever had
a place where southern accents are commonplace
and fifty of my dead ancestors watch me eat breakfast from their frames
I am convinced time doesn’t exist here
because the things that matter never change
I am never required to be anything more than myself
this is the place of my deepest belonging
this place is magic
This One’s Called Free
Minnesott Beach, NC
Won’t you miss it
Always wondering what could have been
What happened?
You loved medicine
I don’t get it
Echoes of what other people will think reverberate through my mind
Echoes of what I know to be true reverberate through my heart
I wasn’t happy anymore
Now my life won’t rush by me as I stay in standstill
Sand slipping through squeezed fingers trying to grasp at what is already gone
I won’t wonder what could have been because
Everything that sustains me is still here
And I am free
I will not be buried in memories of the pain of my patients, trapped by a system that causes me pain, too
I will not die at a young age because I wanted to help others
I will not suffer in order to aid others
It doesn’t work that way, you see
I thought it could
I have to be wholly -not just kind of, somewhat- joyful, free, radiant, alive, fantastic
So that I can uplift others
My soul was crushed by serving what was not my purpose
My intuition pushed free of the mud I had buried it in for so long
You love life too much, remember
Whispers drifted on the breeze into the ears of my heart
I am free
Your poems here echo in my ❤️